What Should I Do If I Am Being Sexually Harassed?
Only unwelcomed conduct can be sexual harassment. Consensual dating, joking, and touching, for example, are not sexual harassment if they are welcomed by the persons involved. Conduct is unwelcomed if the recipient did not initiate it and regards it as offensive and the how the conduct is received will depend on the recipient’s reaction to it.
Outright Rejection
The clearest case is when an employee tells a potential harasser that conduct is unwelcome and makes the employee uncomfortable. It is very difficult for a harasser to explain away offensive conduct by saying, “She said no, but I know that she really meant yes.” A second-best approach is for the offended employee to consistently refuse to participate in the unwelcome conduct. A woman who shakes her head “no” and walks away when asked for a date has made her response clear.
Ambiguous Rejection
Matters are more complicated when an offended employee fails to communicate clearly. All of us, for reasons of politeness, fear, or indecision, sometimes fail to make our true feelings known. A woman asked out for a “romantic” dinner by her boss may say, “Not tonight, I have a previous commitment” when what she really means is “no way, not ever.” The invitation is not inherently offensive, and the response leaves open to question whether the conduct was truly unwelcome.
Soured Romance
Sexual relationships among employees often raise difficult issues as to whether continuing sexual advances are welcome. Employees have the right to end such relationships at any time without fear of
retaliation on the job, so that conduct that once was welcome is now unwelcome. However, because of the previous relationship, it is important that further sexual advances be made very clear.
What Should I Not Do?
- Invite the alleged harasser to lunch or dinner or to parties after the supposedly offensive conduct occurred
- Flirt with the alleged harasser
- Wear sexually provocative clothing and used sexual mannerisms around the alleged harasser
- Participate with others in vulgar language and sexual horseplay in the workplace